A question Of God
by Ms. Kinnikufan
Summary: In this somewhat odd and eclectric collection of drabbles, various U.M. characters give their views on God and religionrn(Title change. Terry and Wally 's are up)
1. Mantaro

Mantaro  
By Ms. Kinnikufan  
Disclaimer: I own nothing

God? It was never really clearly defined in my childhood. The Kinniku Royal Family was not allowed to have an official religion because it would show favoritism or something. It's a political thing or something.  
So in my childhood wasn't given a real sort of name or definition.  
However it was clear that wasn't someone you shouldn't screw around with, for God was on your parent's side.  
God wants you to be good, God wants you to listen to your parents, God gave you responsibilities to protect the weak, ect, ect,  
God, was, like, so repeated so much that it lost all meaning and importance.  
It kind of sucked not having a religion. Not having a religion meant I missed out on the really nice holidays, like the Celebration of The Summer Deities which is a really big holiday on Kinniku planet with a festival and seasonal baked goods, and all that good stuff.  
All the holidays I got to celebrate were the half-assed ones, like Civil Servants Day and Secretary's Day.  
What does God mean to me?  
...All I know is that when some real tough bad guy has beaten me really, really, really, hard and I'm in the worst pain ever, it's not God that helps me out.  
As you know from my track record, I've always managed to get myself out of jams.  
But it's not because of some divine higher power, it's because of my friends love and support for me. They're what gets me through times like that.  
So, I guess doesn't have much sacred meaning for me.  
However, as much as we tick each other off, my friends do. They really do.  
Why do I feel like I'm going to be hit by a bolt of lightning?


	2. Meat

Meat  
By Ms. Kinnikufan  
Disclaimer: Don't own nothing

God? Well I was raised by The Kinniku Royal family, so my defination of God is pretty general. I like to think there's some higher power and some higher plane that we go to after death. I'd like to be able to speak to my father again.  
Ahem. I've got something in my eye.  
What I, really, really, really, don't apperciate is people knocking on my door and threatning my with eternal dammnation is I don't convert to their defination of God.  
What's up with that? There was no Bhudda, Jesus, Allah, ect, ect, on my planet. Why should I convert based on events that didn't even happen on my planet. Events, that I should mentioned, these people mostly take on faith. Not I think it's wrong to take something on faith, but that doesn't mean I have to too.  
So anyway, one time I tell these missionaries: If your God wanted me to belive in Jesus, he would have put a Jesus on my native planet!  
They go: Well God put us here so we could convert you and thus save you from eternal suffereing.  
I say: Well, you're giving me and Mantaro plenty of suffering right now.  
They go: You may think we're annoying, but the torments that await you in hell compare noting to the pain on Earth. That's why you must join the Church Of God's Holy Chosen!   
I say: Wait I thought beleiving in Jesus and his teachings would be enough to get me in heaven. Now I gotta join your church for salvation?  
They go: Yes. Our church was chosen by God himself. We are the one who will bring salvation to the world. Not the Catholics. Not the Protestants. Not anyone else. Only us. We are God's chosen. You see God told our sacred lead Marvin...  
I go: So you guys are a cult!  
They go: Don't mock us or-  
I tell Mantaro to get the pepper spray.  
They keep ranting: Don't mock us! If you mock us God will reign his almighty power upon-  
Then they got attacked by drunken D.M.P. wannabes that were after Mantaro.  
Needless to say, a fight ensured and nobody from the Church Of God's Holy Chosen ever saw us again. I think their church was later arrested for tax evasion.  
Hey someone's knocking on the door. Mantaroi must finally be back.  
Hello we're from- SLAM!  
Why don't those people ever give up. 


	3. Kevin

Kevin  
By Ms. Kinnikufan  
Disclaimer: Don't own nothing.

God? Hah! God. I don't knew what the hell people are talking about when they speak of a loving and merciful God. He doesn't care. He doesn't care for you, me or anyone else.  
He doesn't even care for those who tried so hard to do his will and obey his stupid rules in hopes of even the tiniest shred of love and/or affection.  
He wasn't there when I was cold and lonely on the streets. He wasn't there when I encountered a suicide victum's corspe dangling from the ceiling. The victum was almost a freind too He wasn't there when I was...  
Raped? That's none of your bussiness!  
No, I don't know what a God/Parent transference is!  
God means nothing to me! I hate him! I hate him!  
I've answered your damned questiion. so get the hell out of my face!


	4. Checkmate

Checkmate

By Ms. Kinnikufan

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

God? I fear that God is not a deity, but merely a means of control. By control, I mean by the ones who are in power.

Master Sunshine (though I still harbor some sort of affection for him) used God as a means of controlling me and fellow nightmare, Tyrranoclaw.

He told us God was watching our every move and that if we over disobeyed him (Sunshine), that God (in his Almighty glory) would strike us dead with a bolt of lightning.

As thou may have guessed, this filled our little minds with constant terror and stress.

Tyrranoclaw started constantly wetting his pants because he didn't want God to see him pee.

'Twas most fortunate that we did not share the same futon.

Tyrranoclaw also stopped bathing for a while because he didn't want God to see him naked. His odor was most rank, indeed!

Then Master Sunshine shoved him into a washing machine and put it on "Extreme Spin".

Tyrranoclaw then figured out that God seeing him naked was better then risking another ride in the "Extreme Spin" cycle.

That reminds me, I wonder how Tyrranoclaw is doing in the sanitarium?

I hath progressed since childhood. God is no longer a feeling of terror. He's not really there at all.

This I do know: whatever I shall choose to believe in the future, it shall be for healthy reason, not fear.

Author's note: I think I under did Checkmate's accent. His dialect is really hard to do "just right", I either overdo or under do it.


	5. Tyrranoclaw

Tyrranoclaw

By Ms. Kinnikufan

Disclaimer: I own nothing

God? God is everywhere. He is watching us have this conversation. He is always watching us, no matter what we're doing.

He even watches us when we use the bathroom or are naked. God likes watching us naked.

If we do anything bad, he will strike us down with a bolt of lightning.

That's why I pray constantly. Hopefully, with constant prayer, the Almighty God will have mercy on me and not strike me down with a bolt of lightning.

If I got hit with a bolt of lightning, I would die.

You know what happen when people who do bad things die?

That's right, they go to hell!

If I don't pray constantly for God's all-angry and all-merciful forgiveness, I'm sure to go to Hell.

Hell is a really bad place where they stick pitchforks in places where they're not supposed to go and they melt you in molten lava.

Dr. Shani says God is more patient then master Sunshine said, and that he knows to respect our privacy when we're using the bathroom or bathing.

Dr. Shani is smart in many ways, but she is wrong when it comes to God.

Dr. Shani thinks I have some sort of mental unbalance due to my childhood. That's why I was checked into this sanitarium.

I like this sanitarium better then Master Sunshine's training. No one yells at me and on Tuesday we get a double portion of pudding.

But I shouldn't be here. I'm not crazy.

God is really watching us now. He is watching us so that we don't sin.

I can't keep babbling like this. I've got to start praying again.

Oh Glorious, Almighty, God have mercy on this humble sinner...


	6. Sunshine

Sunshine

By Ms. Kinnikufan

Disclaimer: I own nothing in this fic.

God? I really hope there isn't a God. If there is, I'm in a whole lot of trouble.

If there is a God, I've got a whole lot of explaining to do.

He would really not like the way I used His name to manipulate Checkmate and Tyrranoclaw.

God does not like child abusers, and I doubt he is found of manipulators either.

And that's not mentioning all the crimes I committed as a D.M.P. member.

I'm in a whole hell lot of trouble if there is a God.

Repentance? Even if I repent, I don't really think there is such a thing as forgiveness.

Forgiveness is just words. To forgive would be to forget. I doubt the people I've wronged will forget easily

And don't you have to forgive yourself first? I can't do that, it would be denying that I've done wrong. It wrong to deny what you've done wrong. It's also hypocrisy, and hypocrisy is one of most disgusting things in the world.

There is no forgiveness for me, thus there is no chance of being saved.

I'm in trouble if there is a God.


	7. Ricardo

Ricardo

By Ms. Kinnikufan

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Note: BABC portrayed Ricardo as being mentally unbalanced with a split personality disorder. I'm going to run with that.

God? God is good, he loves me and everything in the world. If he didn't love us, he wouldn't have created everything.

Then he reigns down his righteous anger down on all of us horrible sinners!

Earthquakes, tornadoes, forrest fires, you know it, God reigns it down on us!

I'm a sinner. But I'm also one of God's special creations. At least until I found my true form.

Then I was just a demon, cast down from heaven. Cast down from the I.W.F.

But I wanted to be a just a normal sinner. Normal sinners get God's wrath, but they get God's love too! God's love must be good, because God is good even though he lets hurricanes and tornadoes and lets children, dogs, and moms die.

I tried to be good, but none believed me! I really tried! I really tried! I was I.W.F,. I was D.M.P.! I was both! I was neither!

God loved me! Then God hated me! Then God loved me again! God's sacred, special love kept changing for me as I kept changing sides!

Master Pa-Shango didn't love me the way he loved his other pupils. God must have told him I was bad. God always knows who's good and who's bad. He decides from birth.

God must have not been able to decide on me, at least not then.

God must hate me now.

Ha Heh HA! I just realized something. I'm feel anger and love and hatred and justice all at the same time! Just like God! Therefor, I'm God like!

Wait! Please don't leave! I'm so lonely.


	8. Ikeman

Ikeman  
By Ms. Kinnikufan  
Disclaimer: We all know I don't own anything here.

God? Well I was a devoted Nap'gan during my childhood. Mostly because the temples were a safe place to hide me and Jacqueline from our mother's constant emotional instability. Yes, it was one of the few things during my childhood that was peaceful.  
What is Nap'gan? It a religion native to the peoples of Kinniku and Harabote. It has many similarities the Earthly religion of Wicca. It has many deities. The one thing most notable of out deities is that they have no sex and malleable gender.  
No, I'm not being repetitive. Sex and gender are two different things.  
Well anyway, I'm still a mostly practicing Nap'gan. It's rather difficult though. It's a major religion here. Earthly Nap'gan consist mainly of Kinniku and Harabote immigrants.  
But if you define God as the thing you think most about and the thing that you devote most of your life too; then the answer would be money.  
Yeah, yeah, I know. Ikeman is bad, Ikeman is greedy, Ikeman is as evil, soulless man for worshipping money.  
He should have crap thrown at him and other stuff like that.  
At the risk at sounding defensive, I don't think I'm alone on this.  
I think at least 70 of this planet's population (rich or poor) thinks about money more then they do their God(s) on any given day.  
Why? Money is very, very, tangible. God isn't. You can't buy food, clothing or shelter on religious beliefs.  
Like they say, money makes the world go round. Having a different sort of currency will almost never get you murdered, while a different religious belief might.  
Let's face it: Money is the new God. 


	9. Wally

Wally

By Ms. Kinnikufan

Disclaimer: I own none.

God? I don't think that's the important issue here. I don't believe that whether you believe in God, Allah, Buddha, a holy turnip, all of the above or none of the above doesn't excuse your responsibility to help your fellow beings.

I think all beings have an innate responsibility to help each other, whether they believe there is a God or there isn't a God.

I hate it when there some sort of trouble in the world and the theists (people who believe in God) say "It's their own fault for not believing in our God or something "It's God's will." or "There they go but for the grace of God." I don't claim to know everything about every religion that has existed on Earth, however I do think that your God, Goddess, holy turnip, or whatever wouldn't have wanted you to stand around shake your head. I think religions heart is all about making connection with your fellow people, and that there is no better way then helping out those who are facing troubles.

I also hate it when there is some sort of trouble in the world and the atheists go and say "See! See! There is no God! There is no God!" You proved your point now get off your butt and help.

I really hate it when people say that there is no God and thus no afterlife, then there is no point in living a good life or caring about your fellow beings. I think if that there really is no God or afterlife, then that's all the more reason to help your fellow people. If everyone only gets one chance at life, why shouldn't we try to make it good for everyone. If there really is no God, then that means there is all the more reason to help each other out: we're stuck in this together, so we all might as well stick together. Yeah, I know that's corny, but it's what I believe.

I also believe that believing in a God doesn't automatically make someone a better person (or a worse person). I've met Christians, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, Shintos, and even a couple of people who worshiped a holy turnip (I think they abused drugs in the past) who took were helpful, active people.

I've also met the people of those religions (that includes the holy turnip, surprisingly enough) who were apathetic and just generally assholes.

In the end, I think it's our actions that define us, not our belief in God or our lack of belief in God.


	10. Terry

Terry

By Ms. Kinnikufan

Disclaimer: I own none

God?Well, my daddy and momma made this clear to me: don't blame God for mistakes you clearly made of your own accord and don't use God as an excuse for doing terrible, terrible, things. To do otherwise would be a horrible sin or wrongdoing.

It's a lack of responsibility to blame God for the crappy things you have done.

My parents taught me that God doesn't want you to exclude people or hurt them just cause they're different and stuff.

One thing my daddy hated is that when criminals tried to use their sudden finding of Jesus Christ as a reason to get early probation or to get out of jail.

"Son, (he would say to me) Jesus isn't meant to be used as 'get out of jail' card. It pisses me off that people try to do so. I doubt their sudden conversion in sincere, and even if it, it sickens me that people (especially judges) that people fall for this kind of crap.

Son, a religious conversion can be the springboard for self-improvement, but it doesn't instantly make you a good person or erase the lousy stuff you have done in the past."

I think God is a sacred being,and one that wants us to take responsibility for ourselves and each other. He gave us the awesome responsibility of free will, and it's a sin when we use that to make horrible choices.


End file.
